Untitled (2015)

You’re not going to save me.

Lie to me, rely on me, tell me I matter so my mind doesn’t constantly tick and make my heart scream.

Sometimes jumping doesn’t mean I want to lose everything, sometimes I just want to fly.

I just want to see if I can fly. I’ll see wings Pierce through my skin and I’ll finally be able to soar like I’ve been told to.

I’ll escape the dark and fly into whatever is ahead. Maybe the skies will still be cloudy.
Maybe ill suffer a fate like Icarus. I’ll escape these dark skies and I’ll fly into a blue sky and my wings will burn from flying too close to the sun. Just like a heart filled with too much love, my wings will burst and break apart. I’ll plummet to the ground. If only I could fly.

I know these wings won’t appear, I know I only find solace in the dark. I know jumping from
The top of the mountain of fear I’ve built will always just be a test.

Another routine I suffer through occasionally to see if
I’m truly breathing, to check if all the lack of sleep has killed me yet.

But I’m always breathing. Haven’t seen the light at the end of any tunnel.

Everything seems bleak when you live in darkness your whole life
Now I just want to run to the end of the path in front of me.

If I jump right at the end, will my wings appear or will I just plummet?

I’ve never been blessed by priests or sprinkled with holy waters.
Why are angels the only ones allowed to fly?

Demons follow us our whole lives. They don’t go away, we spend our whole lives battling the thoughts we attempt to ignore. We fight every day to keep ourselves sloppily put together.

I can see the darkness in the eyes of the ones who care the intelligence that I do.

The type of genius that can’t be measured by essays, tests, and quizzes. There’s intelligence that is unmatched.

People who are just as brilliant as I, no even more than I . They suffer as I do.

They see the truth
In the world just as I do.

Do you want to jump too?

Take In the ripe air and with eyes closed leap through the dark with all hopes that these wings aren’t just a dream that maybe we could fly.


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