I’ve been thinking a lot lately about where I am really attempting to go in life, I haven’t found any answer, I really wanted to simply thank anyone who ever listened to my ideas, anyone who took time
Out of their lives to offer me advice even if I didn’t follow it.
I am nothing, without the people who have done countless things for me.
So I sincerely thank every single person who had been there for me.
I love you all.
I’ve always felt like love was supposed to be painful then sweet.
Love that I first remember felt like a needle in the arm and that band aid afterwards was so tender.
I feel as if love is the pain I decide to accept or even give out. It’s a life long lesson I’ve been trying to master my whole life. When my brother moved out and left me and grandma years ago, he called me a week after his departure and told me he loved me, even though he was causing me so much heartache by leaving me behind, cause I wanted to grow up together. I wanted to have a brother always around. At that moment, all I felt was hurt so I began associating love with pain for years. Maybe even before this instance but it’s one I remember this one the best. That people hurt me because they love me. I caused pain to people because I love them, because I loved them I hurt them, even if I didn’t mean too.
But that is not love.
Love is far from that.
Love is the sensation of caterpillars crawling in your stomach and nuzzling away in cocoons that keep you warm and giggling at night when the conversations never
Love is the empty space between words where silence feels like a million words have already been said, so it is okay to fall into one another’s eyes within those silent moments.
Love is accepting everything and growing together, and when the cocoons hatch. Those butterflies will have all the messages you’ve struggled to send,
All the words you’ve failed to find written ever so clear on their wings.
It took me a long time to disassociate pain and love.
But I’ve had a sunflower and a circle of friends who have shown me that love isn’t shown the way I that I’ve thought and that pain is just another apart of growing.
Eventually we all get hurt.
Pain is just another part of life we experience,
Love is the experience of life.
Never Forget to love, Learn to forget the pain and grow.
I know this is confusing and makes 0 sense to many but it’s just how I’ve been feeling for the last few months.