My thoughts weigh my mind down, my eyes close and flashes of mistakes and compromises reached rush toward me. My mind is heavier than the weight of those that have just landed upon heaven’s prophesized soft clouded covered golden gates. Whatever happens to the hated devil children of the world that pass away? Do they get rejected because they don’t read their bibles every night and drop to their knees in prayer wishing for things that won’t come to pass? Devil children that haven’t been thrown into some old river and are supposed to rise up as blessed and covered in blessings from the utmost power. Are we banished to the depths of a proclaimed realm of torture and pain? I’m not a devil child nor am I a saved being waiting to be taken up into the arms of angels. I don’t fear death nor do I fear where my soul will end up. When my time is upon me I will allow my soul to sail wherever it is meant to go.
The inside of my mind is an inconsistent unstable tomb of the dreams and goals I once so chased after. I’d like to believe that my thoughts and ideas are a part of some prophecy that I’m destined to fulfill, or maybe I’m just not the only one whose mind races and their mind is heavy with woe and thoughts of inadequacies.
Even though everything is well and all I still feel like everything isn’t what it seems and that everything can be questioned.