Sponge Life

Writing

Pornographic moments flash vividly upon my cerebellum. The memories and moments solidified behind my eyes almost like fossils shaped and imprinted by the ones involved they became embedded and left a mark upon this earth. These moments were once the thing that I needed. Love, affection, attention, compassion, companionship all I thought I needed. I lacked these things as I grew up from a child, sponge like and innocent. Absorbing and analyzing everything questioning the things that children do. Yet I lacked the things that we all craved. I am unable to absorb things as well now. Maybe because I have spent too long in search of the love and other things that I wasn’t absorbing as a child, my time as a sponge is over. I can’t absorb anymore, I think it is time to let some of what I absorbed and learned of the world go. I must let go of the ignorance, the false hopes and dreams, and the belief that serendipitous moments will soon happen.

What shall happen if I denounce it all? If I denounce ignorance I will simply be called naïve, ignorance is need at times I suppose. If I denounce god, I am branded a demon and shame to the world. If I denounce the way that I am, the way that I carry myself I will simply be just another soulless eyed and lifeless being walking along a daily routine. I am defined by the way I convey my words, the way I convey my emotions and the conviction in which I speak with. In the end is it all really worth it to denounce and give up it all? Without the things that I absorbed in my days as a sponge, I wouldn’t be this fortress of satin laced words and soft spoken silk phrases woven within my mind. Even though I wasn’t able to or allowed to absorb the things that I desired as a child and now as a man I have always been fine without. I will continue to be fine without them. I once thought that I needed many things but I have always been fine with few things.

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