I often believe that I am a dark person, due to the simple fact that I thought about ending my life on multiple occasions. I am proud to say that I am still alive, what keeps me alive? Being at peace with myself, to accomplish that I simply learned that I am imperfect and I have learned to accept that there will never be a day where I will wake up completely happy or in a joyous way. By being at peace with myself and accepting all that I am entirely, that I am a dark person with a few wise words, an open heart and enough honesty and kindness to fill the world twice over with a sweet elixir of love. By accepting all of who I am I know that I may not always be happy, but by being at peace I know that I can achieve happiness. I know that I can be happy. Life is difficult and a constant struggle against oneself to become better and improve the work ethic that you’ve given yourself. That’s what I’ve done constantly fought myself until I molded and sculpted myself into a man that I could further shape into something that I dreamed I could be. I am the artist and the clay. I slowly began to grasp myself and press into the gentle clay moistened gently by wet hands. Wet with the water that had rained down and covered it with the essences of sadness and sorrow, once upon a time the clay was just a simple ball until I grasped it and decided to make something beautiful. The urge to destroy something beautiful crossed my mind as well as I began to sculpt the clay into something that I could admire and be prideful of.
To destroy the beauty that I created simply had to allow the dark thoughts enter into my artwork and slowly stain the bronze clay with black spots and streaks as if to slowly scar the surface of it. The finished product shall be magnificent. Scars that tell stories of the battles within the clay, moments that are forever engraved within my soul as well as the ones involved.
I want my life to be unforgettable and each moment to be cherished by myself and the ones that it affected. The first step in accomplishing this is to remain at peace. There are no conflicts within me; there is no pain to be cured or a sorrow that has a melody of melancholy tunes.
I am in a state of peace where I have learned all I can about myself and accepted all of my life and it’s past. I will continue to live in the present and strive for a future that I will love.