I feel trapped in this moment where I just don’t know what to feel. As if the sky were to begin to be consumed by meteors I wouldn’t really care, no I’m not apathetic I’m not looking for sympathy or any type of empathetic action from anyone. I just want some peace of mind, the simple fact that nothing will rattle around within my mind and bring up the recurring visions and repetitive actions that I can’t help but do.
Right now, Right at this very second my life feels out of balance, I feel as if I am standing at the edge of a cliff waiting to be pushed or to be saved. I feel as if I have an obligation to the ones I’ve known longest, to save them from a downfall that will set them on a path that maybe they are meant for but I see a better ending to their story. I can’t edit or change the story I’m not the author of it, only they can change it. I want to throw ink from within my heart upon the pages of their story hoping they’ll rewrite the choices. Yet we all know that nothing is fixable once it’s done. We all that mistakes are the same as choices, sure we try to say that mistakes aren’t truly choices but we chose to do the thing that led up to the mistake. I may be wrong or false I don’t care anymore.
Have you ever thought about your last deed of greatness? The moment: right before you die where you feel the reaper enshrouded in black and faceless appears. that single second you have left of life where you do something unforgettable to everyone around you. I don’t know what I would say; I don’t even know who will be there when I am gone.
I’m positive that I’ll be alone.