Bold words, followed by moments frozen in time by the nervousness that flood within me, I tell she’s that beautiful, funny, rude, silly, mean, short-tempered. She simply replies to me with awe’s and smiles of simple responses yet I want more as if I deserved even more than she gave me. A simple smile upon her face as I looked into her eyes, I wanted more, and she wanted nothing more than what I had given her, she denies me and I stubbornly stumble upon ways to cleverly make her say what I desire to hear. Slick tongued words do me no good now; she makes it clear that this is nothing. I tell her to give it a chance, that nothing is ever permanent, that maybe if she closed her eyes and listened to the words that I whispered gently into her soul she’d see that I don’t this to be it, I want more, yet this leads to conflicts and arguments and sad truths, she still smile as I look at her, secrets learned and love gained. We are close but I want her to be closer. Yet I’m afraid if we get closer, I’ll be too close to love her so I’ll distance myself from the things that I know will drag us closer.
Then again, I’m stubborn and relentless and hopeless, so I repeat the actions that you say I should give up on. I pour my heart out to you, you let me in slightly, I tell you that you’re beautiful again, and you smile and forget about the problems just for a moment through I smile that I gave you.
This will all be over soon though, once this year is done.
What will we become, what will those smiles be when it is all over? I take pride in how far we’ve come as what we are.
We are nothing, but I want to create something, a spark in your heart that will never fade and will always be there.