Benediction

Writing

I’ve been searching for some astonishing benediction, within all of the chaotic moments that I thrive within. Looking for a silence within all of the chaos, I feel as if I am the world’s bastard child armed to the teeth with weapons forged in insecurities and explicit manners. Temptations that surround me are overwhelming. Falling, I am constantly falling upon these mountains of choices that I can’t overcome so I keep falling until I reach the bottom where I fall victim to the never-ending highs of hazes and blurred moments. I should’ve stopped when I lost my mind’s viscosity. But I’m okay all I ever needed was my sharpened tongue and a lethal mind. Who needs friends? Who needs passion or love? Who needs all of those to worry about?  I constantly try to deny myself the pleasures of the world to keep from getting hurt, but truthfully I need them all. Even though anyone will end up hurt one day from one or all of those things, it’s better to feel those highs and lows than to be a self destructive apathetic being. I don’t know what I am doing with myself; I just really want someone to save me. I want someone to grab me and tell me to finally use your potential. I just want someone to save me because lately all this life of mine has become a cluster of lackluster moments and sleepless nights. I figured it was my mother keeping me awake telling me live my life a better way, but how can? I’m waiting on these benedictions that will better me, or just take away this constantly feeling.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Can you just save me from myself before I destroy the only thing I cherish?

My Mind.

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