Pupil Tango

Writing

I’ve had these dreams, where my eyes make love to the eyes of a stranger, our souls tangoed within one another and we spoke no words, our lips were poised to rush into the simple small talk that every person speaks the small talk that is so pointless yet we constantly use it. It was as if I had finally found someone to understand the troubling thoughts I hold within me. I couldn’t find any impurities it was as if they were still a child full of innocence and joy, I hoped greatly that maybe these eyes could make me feel the same way. It’s been so long since I’ve felt innocent or full of joy. Their eyes kept peering into me, yet they didn’t judge me, it was almost as if they were saying that they understood my pain and my feelings. Their body disappeared and their eyes stood there, still looking into my soul. Now they took the lead in this tango, as if they wanted to know the deepest workings of my soul and my past, so they danced within my mind and heart, for once I wasn’t scared to let someone in. I felt as if the lessons I learned, all the scars left upon the world as I carved my path into it. I felt my entire existence was wrong. I don’t want to be innocent or full of joy, I don’t want to be a child naïve to the world’s true colors of blacks and grays. I want to stay this way because I can see the world in the truths that it is. I closed my eyes and turned my body away from their eyes. I awaken from this dream every so often pondering “when will I find someone to stare into their souls and learn all I can?”

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