I begin to impregnate my mind with the thoughts that will forever live with my soul. The memories of the day that I broke down, my brother left away when I needed him most. I never wanted to be alone, this sensation that ran through my fingertips that chilled right to my bones. As if I knew that I was going to become an only child. The articulated speech that I had thought out it began to slowly pour into the back of my mind as if a bottle had been placed under my brain to collect the misery that was to be flooded through me as soon as I spoke the word “Hello?” wishing he could hear my vision. I cry harder and speak louder trying to get him to understand that I need someone to talk to, that I don’t want to be an only child just yet. That he could just stay along longer and try to stay longer. I’ve been trying to give myself an abortion hoping that I can find the wisdom and happiness that I once thought someone could teach me. My thoughts were wrong, I’ve learned many things on my own without having the people there to teach me the way things are supposed to be, I am who I am because I have learned from the mistakes that I have made, yet I keep making mistakes. I just want to believe that I am scared of how to grow up and experience the things that are waiting for me. Lately I feel like out there, there is nothing out there for me. As if the world is nothing but a simple swamp that I am being forced to trudge to get to the other side where I’m supposed to find the meaning in life through constant education and disappointments. I’ve been trying to live a fairy tale within the madness of my life as it is.