Lately I’ve been so apathetic, as if nothing really matters to me. I see no reason to agree or disagree or to feel anyway about life or the people who are involved in my life.
To be completely truthful, if I died today I wouldn’t care at all I have lost the colored world I saw through my eyes there is a gray layer that lies upon my pupils, there are no emotions to be expressed. Not a single soul or kindred being to share the ideals I have or the things I admire.
I no longer fear the almighty lord, nor do I fear the grim reaper.
He will come to me and take my soul and whisper to me that “you can’t be a man.” I am a self made tragedy, no romanticism, no longing for the pleasures of life. All I want is some excitement and someone to ease the simple pains of life.
I want someone whose eyes will shimmer like a clear ocean as it is calming after a storm, maybe we could be married in the ocean deep where we could make fresh starts as if were dandelion seeds that have floated across the sky leaving our realities behind as if they were never important.
These dreams mean nothing; I’ve had such a problem grasping reality almost as if I am a diseased man who sees the demons that haunt his mind as he sleeps. They reality slowly merges into the dreams. I keep hoping to find the truth within this world I’ve created for myself.
I have to constantly remind myself
Nothing is real unless you wake up.
I don’t really care to wake up from this world.
I’m sorry if I am not the same.