Lost in the pursuit

Writing

I don’t know what I am doing with myself any longer; I used to think I was following some self-laid path.

Lately I feel like what has been this whole point of me talking and speaking of some great advice and great guidelines for people to listen to when I’m still lost?

I’ve pondered, pacing my mind as if it were lost. I’ve stayed awake nights staring into the ceilings hoping that they could move, show me some grand idea, some great life that I could have if I did something.

But who am I? What has my life been so far, a series of fortunate happenings that never became a reality? I no longer know who I am or what I am supposed to do in this lifetime. I feel like I am slowly wasting my time, my life, my thoughts and my words.

I don’t’ know what to do with myself; I try to think about the opportunities I try to make my family happy I am not happy.

I’ve been pursuing happiness for years, and it has left me pondering and pondering as I have been for years.

I still don’t know who I am. I’m hoping I can find myself. I’m waiting to find myself within the weakest point of my life.

Maybe I’m already there.

Maybe I should stop pursuing happiness when I can‘t achieve it.

Life’s just not fair.

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