dreams

Writing

I have dreams; I don’t have the money for anything.

No, I don’t have women on my arms.

No I don’t have a desire to just fuck and leave.

Yes, I want to love someone, yes I want to give them all.

I’ve been waiting on it, I’ve been waiting right here for it.

I’ve been waiting for that moment where I will finally have the answer to something.

I’ve never had the itch on my brain that I had to scratch; I just ignored it like I ignore the little bastards that like to fuck with me.

I scream don’t fuck with me; they didn’t listen so I let my fist speak to their bloody nose.

It looked like art, so much teenage angst it was pitiful, their blood painted visions of a sad home life on the floors, they groaned on the ground.

I just want to live my dreams, I’m tired of fighting.

I’m not the greatest but I have the greatest dreams.

I feel like I went from insane to just existing.

I’m tired of the way things have been, I want to actually smile.

I’m going to follow my dreams.

I’ll be the bird that doesn’t know where it’s going but somehow finds the most beautiful paradise for itself.

The paradise has oceans of the purest blues, the sands that feel like you’re walking on the clouds in heaven.

If life were only this sweet, I’m tired.

I’m tired of fighting myself, my only problem is death.

Everything else is just an obstacle to me.

I don’t have any problem with dying anymore; I know people will miss me.

I am scared of living my life to the fullest.

I don’t know why, maybe it’s because I’ll feel the things I only dreamed of, the subtleness of an ocean breeze. That is how easy they would be acquired.

Maybe I shouldn’t try anymore?

I’ll drown my dreams in the sweet taste of a glass of the finest wine, the taste of sweet grapes and overly priced liquor will make me feel better maybe.

Should I stop?

I don’t have much to believe in, so can you save me please?

I’m having a hard time adjusting to this, this insanity.

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