Tears

Writing

When the tears finally run out, if I can’t be there for you I’ll be dreaming of being there with you.

I still dream of the day that I will be needed by someone someday. I’ve lost so many things.

I refuse to cry when I lose the dreams I have. There will be tears when I lose someone special, but not when lose my dreams, all I will want is the will to clinch my fist as tight as possible and cut the air with these fists, I just want to fight for the dreams I so long desired, all of these pages falling from the books that lie in the corners of my mind. The pages written with a good intent and good meanings but they were my dreams, nothing special but I still want to fight the loss of my dreams.

Then you came along, you ripped the pages out and set them a flame, the smoked left my mind leaving dark grays embedded with the longing for love. The walls surrounding my dreams started to collapse around it. The principles I lived by began to feel repetitive like my life wasn’t worth much.

There were tears, but no one was there. No one wanted to help me when I broke down. The saying is true; you can’t miss what you can’t have.

I don’t miss having dreams, because I never had them. I’ve only had night terrors that creep slowly through my mind corrupting my wants making me feel like a body shaped demon hungry for the destruction of my mind’s inner walls.

But I’m feeling good inside, I’ve found happiness in these night terrors. The stars in the sky tell the story of me, the freedom I’ve acquired is endless.

I just want you to be there, that’s all I ever wanted.

Where were you when I lost my sanity?

The feelings of the clear, droplets of sorrow ran down your cheek when you saw the thoughts I wrote down for you, the pain that existed in my heart.

You tried to blame it on my life, I blamed it on you.

I found clarity in life, in the dark thoughts that will forever run through my mind.

 

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s