Chaotic Blues


I never knew the sky could be blue.

I never took the time to look up and admire the simple beauty in it.

I thought myself too focused and to poised to look up and distract myself within its grasp.

It seemed to have been around ever since time itself started, I wonder if the sky could age.

It was always a grey sky to me; it seemed to always be sad, maybe because in my heart there was always a lurking pain and a constant darkness just hiding the light and warmth that the sky could have offered.

I used to believe that the sky was just a waste of time, and just a waste of color. So I painted it shades of grey with my mind’s paintbrush to cover up all that beauty.

I didn’t want to see the beauty in the world when all I was shown was untrustworthy people, drug abuse, murder.

The sky didn’t deserve such beauty for all the chaos that existed, so I kept my head down and ignored the chaos surrounding me and absorbed in all of the evil thoughts that would pour out my sadness.

I was trapped within the walls of a mental ward, the walls were painted white, and the door was always locked.

It took simply looking up to see that there is beauty in the world, the good people who give to others, the people who show that love is real, that you can be something.

I no longer look down; I keep my eyes fixed to the sun.

It doesn’t want to blind me anymore it just keeps the sky blue for me.

I want to die with a smile on my face now; I don’t want to feel anything but this joy.

I no longer want to shelter myself from all the beauty that could be, so I’ll create some and paint the sky with my heart’s whim.

I don’t want to destroy beauty anymore, I simply want to create a sky for the ones I want to protect and cherish until I can longer breathe.

No one ever asked me to paint them mental pictures of a euphoric place where they could finally smile, but I believe in seeing your smile.

You have to believe in something. So believe in me.

I had the blues, but I shook them loose long enough for you to see that there is a thing worth smiling about, just keep your eyes fixed to the sky.


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