I miss…

Writing

I miss the days where it was fun having a crush on you, now it’s just this sloppy wristed one hearted romance starring myself and the image of you I wish was real.

Sometimes I feel like I am alone even when I have so many around me, I used to think that I was missing my only true friend.

There is a curse on the human race that I feel is deeper on myself than others, the curse of being a teenager with kindness to oneself. I don’t like saying no I don’t want to hurt anyone.  I’m easily gullible I take a frown as a serious thing and I end up falling for it.

I put myself at a distance from the world because I get tired of being the only person in the world that I am in right now who actually gives shits about others and sincerity. My brain is my therapist it likes to ask me questions about why I am how I am, I don’t know the answers I like to think I do.

Maybe I’m scared, I’m a sweetheart at heart, I like smiling, and I like giving someone a smile when they look down. That look in their eyes, the tone in their voice when you know they’re lying and they say “I’m fine.”

That line it’s such a lie, I can see past that line and I want to break their mental guards, people are hidden and scared. People tend to be scared when they see someone actually scared.

Why are people so used to someone not caring? I just want to open their minds and pick away at the petals that lay within its casings.

I want to just tap their brains and break their walls so they’d open up wider than the lips of a Venus fly trap, maybe I’d teach them to be more trusting

I miss the days where you didn’t have to worry about people being fake. Where you didn’t have to have emotions toward someone

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